Modifications of the Bodily Sort
by readingrainbows
Summary: Beck and Andre discuss chicks. Among other things. Jade


I apologize for this.

Like really, a lot.

But you know how you get those ridiculous ideas into your head and they keep buzzing around you in an annoying but totally alluring way until you finally snap, give into peer pressure and type it up?

Yeah. That's how this came to be.

* * *

Out of the corner of her eye, a tiny girl with a physique made for dancing spots him.

He's sitting on a couch on the far right of the room, gorgeous and brooding, with his head bent low over his phone, but not actually typing anything. The cloud of smoke that hangs so heavily in the room despite the wide-open doors distort his features a little, so she isn't sure if he goes to her school or not, but at the moment, it doesn't really matter.

The music pumping through her veins makes her braver and the "fruit punch" from the red plastic cups gives her all the confidence in the world.

Bidding her friends adieu, she saunters over to him, blonde hair swinging. It's then that she notices his hair, long and jet-black and just begging to have fingers run through them. It frames his face beautifully and she knows she must have him.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity of swaying her hips in a rather noticeable but uncomfortable fashion, she reaches him, and realizes with mounting horror that he is owned property.

The realization hits her like a thousand painful school play rejections, and she quickly swerves to the right, hoping that _Jade West's_ unlawfully hot boyfriend didn't see her.

With a last longing glance, she turns her head away from what she now knows she can't have, and sees her face reflected in the grimaces of about half a dozen other hopeful girls who made the same mistake.

Beck, for his part, notices none of this, only keeps staring at his phone as if expecting the inanimate object to sprout legs. He presses and holds the unlock button located on the side of the phone and as the screen lights up, he notes the time (10:17) and the messages (or rather, the lack thereof).

With a long-suffering sigh, he pockets the device and, noticing a rather pretty, forgotten red plastic cup on the coffee table in front of him; he proceeds to lift it to his lips and drain the contents.

It is then, in the midst of his chugging, that Beck notices a rather familiar presence plop himself down on the spot next to him.

"Sup, man?" Andre asks, yawning widely. "Not having a good time?"

Lowering the cup from his lips, Beck gives him a look that is _meant _to say'no shit, Sherlock, wanna deduce anything else?' but Beck had no energy to actually voice.

"Yeah, I never really care much for these parties," Andre responds, but then, realizing, "but actually, you and Jade like them, don't you?"

It's her name that makes him groan aloud, that makes his head pound harder than the music blaring from 7 different speakers and makes him withdraw his phone from his pocket once again.

Still no messages.

Andre raises an eyebrow.

"Trouble in paradise?" Beck chuckles a little and looks at him through the haze of smoke in the room and the alcohol in his system and nods mutely before propping his elbows on top of his knees, and hanging his head.

Andre nods, thinks, well when don't they have problems? And makes to get up, deciding that Beck needs some alone time. Also, a cute little blonde on the right seems lonely…and she keeps looking over…

"It's like, sometimes I forget that she's still a chick, yanno?" his voice slurs slightly, and apparently, Andre thinks, the blonde will have to wait.

"Really? Cause although she's Queen Bitch and everything,_ I_ have a hard time remembering that she's my best friend's chick."

Andre's kidding of course, but Beck's head isn't hanging anymore and his eyes are narrowed in a way that would have been a lot funnier if he wasn't drunk and he raises a finger to Andre's face in what is meant to be a threatening gesture.

"You'd better remember that…that she's _mine_." And the word 'mine' has all this pride mingled with it, like it's a major life achievement that Beck gets to call her his own, and Andre shakes his head like, hopeless idiot, and waits for Beck to go on.

"And I don't mean I forget that she has like, breasts and stuff, I just mean…like I forget that she still wants me to call her pretty…and stuff."

"Well, I think that goes without saying, man."

But Beck's shaking his head vigorously, his hair is flopping in every direction and somewhere, Andre thinks, tons of fan girls are fainting at the sight.

"No, no, no, no, no. Andre. No man, no. Like yeah, with girls like Tori and…and Cat that stuff goes without saying. But not…not Jade man, not Jade. Anyways, it's not that I don't call her pretty… it's just like earlier…earlier today she did her hair different or something and she's all upset that I didn't notice."

And now Beck's looking at Andre with desperately wide eyes, like trying to get him to see his side.

"We were supposed to come here together…but now…It's just hard for me to notice stuff like that, yanno? I mean, it's just her hair! And so that's how it started…and it just got really a lot bigger than that actual issue."

"As always?"

"As always."

Andre lowers his head and chuckles, wondering at the power this girl holds over his best friend. But it's a good kind of power. The power Andre hopes to someday be under himself.

When Andre looks back up voice this, Beck has somehow managed to get another red cup into his hands and takes a few more sips, draining it.

"Woah, haven't you had enough?"

Andre himself has only had enough to give him a slight buzz, but he knows that Beck is way past that.

Beck squints at him and lets the cup fall from his grasp.

"Don't you think…that I would _know_ if I've had enough?"

He looks angry for a second, but then he doesn't anymore, and he looks up at Andre through doleful eyes.

"Actually, I probably don't. Jade probably does."

Andre lets out a strangled sound, like something in between a groan and a laugh and says,

"Look Beck, you better get your act together, man. Cause I'm not gunna be the one to drag your sorry ass home."

* * *

"Thanks for dragging my sorry ass home, Andre."

"Shut up, man."

As if Andre's not annoyed enough without pretty-boy Beck reminding him that he's a total pushover.

"Ahh, I really wanna go home Andre, like I really wann go," Beck says, placing almost his entire weight on Andre as he staggered along.

"Come on, Beck; try to support your own weight."

They were walking down a dark, totally deserted street, a shortcut to Beck's house. And just as Andre was beginning to feel a bit nervous, they round a corner only to be faced with a street full of neon signs.

"Hey…" Beck began, blinking rapidly because of the sudden light, "where are we?" in his slightly more alert state, Beck is able to stand up a bit on his own and Andre heaves a sigh of relief.

Fixing his shirt, Andre says

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"

At this Beck gives him such a Jade-esque glare that Andre was truly scared for his life until he reminded himself that this was indeed Beck, and Jade was nowhere around.

"Whatever, man." Beck says, looking in the other direction and waving his hand near Andre's face as if to wave his words away.

"Jade doesn't think that."

At this a smile so serene blossoms on Becks face that Andre has to stop himself from sticking a finger down his throat and retching

"Jade_ loooooves _me. And my body."

Andre chuckles, shaking his head, "I'm sure she does."

"Yes she does!" and now Beck doesn't need Andre for support at all, and instead walks until he is quite a few feet away and stands to face him. And Andre has to admit, it's pretty impressive that in his current state, he only stumbles twice.

"She loves my hair and my eyes and my body and my body hair and my co— "

"You know what man, that's okay, I really don't need to know."

Andre wipes away the mental image that immediately comes to mind and walks over to Beck. Slowly, so as not to startle him.

But now Beck is staring down at his chest in this confused way, and isn't paying Andre any attention, so he walks over until he is right next to Beck and grips his elbow, trying to steer him foreword.

Beck doesn't budge. Instead,

"Hey, Andre?"

"What man, what?"

"Why do guys have nipples?"

"What the hell?" Andre pulls on his hair and backs up a few steps.

"Well haven't you ever _wondered_? God, it's just a question." He's still looking down at his black wife beater and begins to pet his chest.

"No man, I've never wondered that! Let's just go!"

But suddenly Beck is taking in his surroundings and this slow smile spreads over his lips until his eyes land on a tattoo shop a few stores down.

And Andre already knows what he's thinking.

"Don't, Beck. Come on, man, let's just get you home, you don't wanna do this."

"Yes I do!" And Beck starts sprinting off in the direction of the tattoo parlour. "Jade's gunna think it's soooo hot! And I love Jade! And this is the greatest idea I've ever had! And…"

Andre stares after Beck's stumbling form, worried and a little amused.

And he realizes that even the bad decisions Beck makes, he makes for her.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks the time.

Half an hour until curfew.

Then he shrugs and follows after Beck, albeit, at a slower pace.

* * *

The next morning, Beck awakes to the sound of his RV door being roughly pushed open.

"So whatever," says the most beautiful voice Beck has ever heard "I'm not mad anymore, but you have to take me to get some new boots."

Then, after a pause,

"Are you…why are you still in bed? It's past noon!"

Beck blinks groggily, the image of his lovely girlfriend standing over him seems to block out even the ridiculous pounding in his skull.

"Hello, are you even listening to me?"

Well it was, until her voice got all shrill and stuff.

He grumbles unhappily into his pillow, but decides to get up because…wait did she say she wasn't mad at him anymore? Score!

He sits up, fully intending to take some Tylenol (extra strength, of course), get some coffee into him and never get so hammered again when he realizes that Jade is staring wide-eyed at his shirtless chest.

"Are those…nipple rings?"

"Oh." And suddenly the events from the night before come pouring back into his already aching head.

"Ah, look Jade—" but he's suddenly cut off.

As Jade has pressed her mouth against his, climbed on top of him and pushed him back down onto his bead, words like "So hot," and "Do me," escaping from in between her fevered kisses.

And Beck thinks, before completely losing himself in all that is Jade, he really owes Andre a thank you card.

* * *

I _said_ I was sorry.

God.

:)


End file.
